WHAT?????????????

Ok, please excuse me while I jump on my soapbox........I have never heard something so ridiculous in my life.....

We were given a plea for help. Our pastor knows we are in the middle of adoption and his brother works with a church group that are trying to help the Haitian orphans. Supposedly, 300 orphans will arrive in Indy today or tomorrow and have no where to go. They need host families to take kids in for a month or so....or possibly adopt if no living family member claims them. My friend Jennifer, who is also adopting, called our social worker today and asked about helping these kids. Well, we can't. Yes, that's what I said. We can't. We have gone through multiple fingerprinting, state police, FBI, and Homeland Security clearance, filled out a gazillion, yes gazillion forms and DCFS would need more for us to help these kids in an emergency. WHAT??????????????????????

Well, we have an "adopt" license. You need a "foster" license to take in those kids. Again.......WHAT???? We have been approved to adopt a child, but we can't provide shelter, food, clothing and love to a child that just went through 2 earthquakes and has no idea if they have any living relatives?????? Seriously, the government has to get a clue. I have been told by multiple adoption agencies that Illinois is one of the worst states to try to adopt from because of all the hoops and red tape. How sad. To help these kids we would have to get a different license, take a foster parent class and change our home study......I have been at this adoption thing for 5 months....still don't have a license or home study......by the time those changes would take place those kids will be in an institution. As you can tell I am furious. I am shaking. I am so sad. Can you imagine how scared those kids are??? It just breaks my heart that there are 300 kids in need just 2 hours away from me and I can't go over there and bring some home to love on and make their lives better if not for just a little while.

There needs to be emergency procedures for this type of thing. If we have been approved to adopt, we should be able to be a temporary family for those kids.
At this point I don't know what to do.....pray I guess. I wish I could help. We have donated money, Darren is planning on going to Haiti in June --if they will let our group into the country....but I still don't feel like I have done enough. It's never enough.
If anyone reading this is a current foster licensed family...please consider helping these kids. Call me or email and I will give you all the contact information.

John 14:18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

I am trying......DCFS is just slowing me down.........

Two steps forward!

Well, we got some more good news today. We received notice that Homeland Security has received our I600-a and it is now pending until they get our home study. Good Good Good. I also received our biometric fingerprint appointment today!! Another step in the right direction. We will go to Indy on February 10th for fingerprinting. Our last set of fingerprints. I am feeling pretty good right now. I can check two more things off the long list of steps that need to happen before we can go and get our daughter. I am all the more anxious with the tragedy in Haiti, although I heard on the news today the are getting kids out of the country and dealing with paperwork later. I am sooo happy for those families. The wait for a Haitian orphan is around 2 years. Can you imagine if you were so close to getting your child and then this happen??? How scary.

I also heard my new favorite song on the radio tonight. It fits perfect for the situation of adoption and how we feel about it, and why we are doing it. I will print some of the lyrics and hopefully I can figure out how to put the actual song on our blog. I may have to call in reinforcements....my teenage tech savvy daughter......

FOLLOW YOU ---BY LEELAND

You live among the least of these,
the weary and the weak
And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away

All my needs You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
How could I not give it away so freely?

And I'll follow You into the homes of the broken
I'll follow You into the world
I'll meet the needs for the poor and the needy God
I'll follow You into the world


That pretty much says it all.........

One step forward

Well, we received some good news today. Our home study agency emailed and said they have received the paperwork they needed to get our license in order to adopt through DCFS. Basically, that means we have everything we need to complete our home study and send it to DCFS for approval. Now we just need that home study.......

Our social worker will write the HS, send me a draft-I will proof it and if it's ok, he will send it on to our agency for them to proof. If it meets all of their requirements it can go to DCFS for final approval. Once we have an approved HS, we can finish up our dossier and sent it off to get authenticated and get it on it's way to Ethiopia.

I know, I know.......so many steps. It's mind blowing. It's really a shame that there are so many steps and hoops to jump through. I know that it scares many people and that is one reason why they don't adopt. So sad. There are millions of orphans who need homes and just not enough families that will go through the steps to get them. Believe me, this has been so hard. I have been an emotional wreck but I know I am doing the right thing. God would not want me to give up because of paperwork, so I must keep going and plugging away day to day. For those of you maybe considering adoption, just do it. Don't let the craziness stop you. I know it will be so worth it when I see the child God has picked out for our family. With every step closer, I get more and more excited about meeting our child.

I will ask for prayers for Haiti in the aftermath of the horrible earth quake. Darren is/was planning a mission trip to Haiti this summer to work at an orphanage. We have gotten word from God's Littlest Angels orphanage that they are all safe right now. But the future is scary...they rely on volunteers to come and take care of the babies and children. But no one will be allowed in and out of the country for some time. We are not sure if they have electricity, which they need for the incubators for some of the sick babies. At this point we have no way to contact the orphanage and we are not sure if our church group will be able to go in June or not. Please pray for Haiti and all who are there now and for those going to help with the rescue.

Slowly moving forward

Well, it's been awhile since I have updated the blog. Honestly, not much to report other than paperwork. December was a very long month. Lots of calls back and forth to our social worker. Papers lost, time lost, my mind.....lost. I had no idea this part of the adoption process would be so stressful. It's been awful, I've been awful. Grumpy, judgmental and completely crazy. I will admit it, I am a control freak and not having any control over this process is so very hard for me. But it is even worse when things go wrong and there is no good reason for it but other people making mistakes. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT perfect--it's just so hard to understand. This is a child we are talking about. A girl, boy or both is/are waiting for us to come bring them home. And we are way behind on our timeline. But through many phone calls and emails hopefully, we have things back on track. We are now waiting on our license and our home study. I am hoping to get good news tomorrow that our home study is written.

I keep telling myself that I am going to have a better attitude but I am so anxious to meet my baby!!! I have been an emotional wreck. A friend of mine, that also recently adopted, jokingly said to my husband last night "give her a break, she's pregnant." That's how I feel, those hormone rages, one minute you are laughing, next you are crying. I've heard the adoption expression, "paper pregnant" well, it's so true.

I know God has a plan for our family, maybe the child He has in mind for us isn't even born yet, so He is slowing things down....I hope that's it. I must rely on Him. I must put my trust in Him. I know it will all work out--in His time. Not mine. For my friends out there reading this, just keep reminding me of that.

At a Stand Still

Well, for those of you checking on our blog...not much to report. We are pretty much at a stand still right now. We have finished our home visits but are trying to find somewhere to get our 10 hours of international adoption training......No one seems to be holding classes right now. So I am freaking out. We have to have those classes before our home study can be officially done. Still waiting on our foster/adopt license to show up and still waiting for MY fingerprints to show up. Darren's came back but mine are no where to be found........As you can tell all of these things are out of my control and I don't like that at all. Do you think God is trying to teach me something? It is just so frustrating.....I'm ready to be a new momma and we are no where close to getting our baby. Makes me so sad. But I will continue to pray and count all of my blessings, live in the moment and patiently wait....

Home Videos

The other night we broke out the old video camera and started watching videos of the kids. It amazed me how much I had forgotten. Especially about Hannah as a baby....she is now 14. Watching her as a baby and toddler seriously brought tears to my eyes. Dang she was cute. Big round bald head. I had forgotten how she used to growl like a lion...she kind of sounded more like she was possessed, but still so cute. She used to dance with her daddy and when she was about 15 months old her favorite thing to do was the cheer from Saturday Night Live. My name is Hannah......I've got team spirt.......so check me out.......cha cha....you know the rest...so incredibly funny. Why we taught her that I have no idea.
We seem to have a lot of videos of Luke "performing". Either in a play or singing at church. The kid is not shy. Maybe one day he will thank me as he accepts his Academy Award. He has always been wise beyond his years. Friends of mine even joked when he was a baby that you could put a pair of khaki pants and a polo shirt on him and he would be a mini Darren. My little man....
Owen is a performer of a different kind....can you say "show off" ?? The videos we found of him were very funny. He was a very busy toddler....I had forgotten that too.......always running around and throwing himself onto a chair-bouncing off and running the other way-over and over again. Or while we were taping Luke singing a beautiful song from church, you could hear Owen in the background making weird noises. Loud noises.
It's funny how you forget things, even the good things. I was really kind of sad after we watched the videos. How could I forget all of that? My babies were so adorable!! But I also remember at times thinking, Will this "phase" ever pass? Will they ever be out of diapers? Will the late night feedings ever stop? I can't believe I am going to say this but, I'm looking forward to doing it all again. Late night feedings and all.
I have been pretty stressed about all the adoption paperwork lately. Not really doing it, that's not a huge deal to me. I kind of thrive on organization and timelines. But I can't control this timeline and I am about ready to loose it. It's the unknown that is bothering me. Someone else has control of my future right now-and I really don't enjoy that too much. Control Freak....maybe. Anxious mother to be.....you bet. I am so ready to add to our family, it's just so hard to wait.
So for now, I will keep pulling out the old home videos and remember how fast time flies.........and hope it flies just as fast until we can go to Ethiopia and bring home our child. Please pray for patience for me as I wait.........

I pinky swear.....

Well, it's official...I received an email from CCI (Celebrate Children International) stating that we were accepted into the adoption program. It was a one sentence email..with 2 attachments. One was a 12 page contract, the other a 22 page contract. You have to read and initial each page. Then you have to take it and sign a bunch of pages with a Notary. I think you also have to sign in blood and pinky swear that all is true and accurate. Really, I think it was in the fine print..... :)

Kidding aside, it's a ton of paperwork. Now that we are "officially" clients of CCI, we are able to access the client webpage...which is so awesome, informative and helpful. I was really impressed. You can log in and keep track of the whole process. I am very much a list maker and marker off-er.....so that was right up my alley.

We had our second home visit and the kids were interviewed, that was a treat. Actually, none of them said anything inappropriate, believe it or not. We have our third and hopefully final home visit next week at which Darren and I will get our individual interviews done. After that, we wait for the home visit to be written up and approved by DCFS. I just pray it doesn't take too long. I just keep thinking that my child is over in Africa somewhere waiting for me. It's so hard for me to think about myself sitting in my huge soft bed, typing on my Mac, drinking my hot chocolate and I have a child in Ethiopia with no home, no family and no food. Makes you think about what really matters. And it makes me want to go upstairs, sneak in my kids rooms and kiss them on their foreheads as they sleep so peacefully in the warm beds. I need to make it a daily priority to tell my kids just how special and wonderful they are to me. I am going to do it, I pinky swear.